Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His alleged disciples came to him, and he tried to teach them … AGAIN. He didn’t like having to do this a second time, but some of the people obviously didn’t get it the first time. With a voice both gentle and laced with biting mirth, he spake:
I’ll start saying what I’m going to say, and you’ll be turning back to the Old Testament for archaic rationales to continue to justify your bad behavior and hate, so remember this. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. Remember me telling you people that? Because it doesn’t seem like it. I also said Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites. You people honor me with your lips, but your hearts are far from me. You worship me in vain; your teachings are merely human rules. You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to flawed human traditions.
So, for all of you who didn’t get it on the first try, here I am again, back on the mount. Here goes. Pay attention this time.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of Heaven is theirs. This means humility, Folks. Some of you are so arrogant, you think other people have to live and believe exactly the way you do. You who brag about your adherence to outdated rules and traditions like they’re priceless treasures are missing the mark. It’s not the 1950s, people, and that time wasn’t as great as your flawed brains recall. Your pride is misplaced. You build your hearts like impenetrable fortresses that block out mercy, and you believe your judgments are as solid as the Hope Diamond. None of you here is so perfect that you have the right or the authority to tell other people how they can live, who they can love, or what they should believe. You'll claim the Bible gives you authority, but it doesn't. The work of judging people, isn't yours. It's my father's and I'm telling you, nothing pisses him off more than the arrogance it takes for you fools to try to do his job for him. You don’t see janitors trying to do the work of the CEO, do you? When I said to you that those among you who have no sin could cast the first stone, I meant it and believe me, none of you here are qualified to cast any stones, believe me. So cool it, get humble, and stop following leaders who incite you to stand in judgment of others. The people who believe, live, and are different from you are children of God, just like you, and it’s his job, his and his alone, to determine their fates.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. This, right here, means empathy and compassion. This is God's ultimate compassion for all of those who suffer, and it's my call to compassion from you for all of those who suffer; the homeless, the hungry, the oppressed. They need help, and you're supposed to help them. That's what I told you to do many times over. What have you done? You've become the oppressors, and you worship the oppressors. You vote them into office almost exclusively on the premise that that's what they're going to do. Well, ladies and gentlemen, if you have heard anything I’ve ever told you, you'll realize that I’m what you would call a “libtard”. Black Lives Matter, love is love, women's rights are human rights, and no human is illegal. In my life, I was an enemy of suffering, and if you want to be in good graces with my father, you need to become one too, not join the people who live to visit suffering upon others. If your tax dollars go toward helping people strange to you, so be it, and be grateful that there are such easy mechanisms to demonstrate your love for all of my Father’s children.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Unlike the leaders you worship, especially your current narcissist-in-chief, who parades his arrogance as if it were a brand new tattoo. Instead of learning humility, you celebrate bluster and self-aggrandizement, missing the lesson that true strength comes forth quietly, not from loud boasts. The Kingdom of my Father rejects the idiots who come thinking they own the place.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. My father and I don’t care about your worship. Going to church and spouting out Bible quotes, like stand-up comedians tell jokes, doesn’t get you anywhere with us. You are judged by your deeds, not your pretenses. In the same way that being in a garage doesn’t make you a car, being in a church doesn’t mean you’re a good person, or that you are, by any means “saved”. It depresses me to watch you fawn over the worst kinds of people, overlooking every moral lapse they demonstrate. Rape? Fake news , you say. Fraud? So what, you say. Treason? It was a liberal witch hunt you say. Insurrection? Go look it up. I mean seriously. Why do you think men like Bill Clinton, Alan Dershowitz, Prince Andrew, and Donald Trump went to Jeffrey Epstein’s parties? I’ll tell you this much, it wasn’t to be anybody’s designated driver afterward. While the masses starve for true justice, instead of feasting on genuine righteousness, you gorge on empty promises and convenient hypocrisies. You’ll make sure that the Ten Commandments get put up on the walls of your classrooms and then break them all without a second thought. When all’s said and done, don’t come knocking on my Father’s door.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Too many of you who claim to embody virtue, forget the oppressed and the impoverished. What of the immigrant family risking everything at the border, or the refugee fleeing war and persecution, or the poor left behind by policies that favor the affluent? What about the laws and systems that persecute the transgendered, the non-heterosexual, the non-white, the women, or the non-Christian? Are supporting these laws? Are you standing idly by while this goes on? Do you convince yourself it isn’t happening? True mercy calls not for selective compassion, but for a commitment to care for every soul in need. Every blessed soul. Whatsoever you do to the least of God’s children, you do unto Him. Know that the mercy you give will be given to you in equal measure, and the same will be true for your acts of cruelty.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Have an inner life free of duplicity, deceit, and divided loyalties. It means that a person’s thoughts, desires, and motivations are aligned with truth and goodness. With so many of you burying your heads in the sand right now, watching Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC, with the trust of dullards, getting your news from YouTube or social media, and lacking anything even resembling critical thinking skills or media literacy, your minds have become toilets. You want to believe what you want to believe, and when facts show up to prove you wrong, you ignore them. Such arrogance! To be pure of heart is to be able to recognize the truth, even when it isn’t to your liking, and then you may see God. Oh, and Memo. The earth is round, vaccines work, and you do not have reptilian overlords. Just sayin’.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. This one makes me laugh the hardest. You people just adore violence and war. It's actually your national pastime! Nothing gets the patriotic juices flowing like a good old-fashioned conflict, preferably one that lasts for decades and costs trillions. You glorify it in movies, celebrate it in history books, and turn it into video games for kids to play between math homework and dinner. Your leaders always seem eager to find the next great enemy, because why spend money on silly things like healthcare or education when we could be building bigger bombs? And let's not forget our love affair with guns, because nothing says "land of the free" like the constant fear of getting shot at the grocery store. Sorry about your toxic masculinity, but a violent heart with menacing aspirations is the way to get into the horrible place, not Heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil garbage against you because of your true belief in my teachings. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in Heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. So, when they call you a “libtard” for having compassion, and wanting to uplift those who have been othered by the bigoted and the fearful, I’ve got you. When they call you a pussy, because you think guns should be regulated to … I don’t know … keep children from being massacred at schools, keep shining. I am with you. When you welcome the immigrant, fight for equality, and open your hearts to those they marginalize, like the transgendered, and they call you “woke” as if to spit the word in your face, hold your chin up. We are kindred. And if you’re the one slinging the insults, trust me, I’m not returning your calls.
You are meant to be the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its essence, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. So, some history and science for you. I know, you hate the book learnin’ stuff, but listen anyway. Salt was valuable in the ancient world for preserving food, enhancing flavor, and purification. Impure salt was discarded, sometimes on roads where it would be trampled underfoot. I’m telling you to have a positive influence; preserving goodness, adding value, and acting as a moral example in the world. If you’re not, like salt losing its essence due to exposure to moisture or contamination, then … follow the metaphor … you kissed goodbye to your faith, integrity, and moral purpose. If your works in this world are corrupted by fear, hatred, ignorance, and selfishness, the kind and loving will all be roasting marshmallows with me around campfires in Heaven, and you’ll be out in the cold.
You are meant to be a light in the world. A city on a hill stands out; it can’t be hidden. No one lights a lamp just to cover it up; they set it where it shines for everyone. In the same way, let your light shine, through your actions, so others can see the good you do and be inspired to honor what is greater than themselves.
Praying in restaurants so that people can see how “devout” you are won’t do it. T-shirts and bumper stickers won’t do it. You can show up to church every Sunday and drop twenties into the basket. That won’t do it either. What did I do? I healed the sick, I fed the poor, I washed the feet of a prostitute, I loved everyone, including tax collectors (which is saying something), and I forgave even the people who murdered me. My question … and you can surely bet … my Father’s question … will be what did YOU do? What example are you setting with your actions? Did you deny healthcare? Did you vote to end social programs that would’ve helped the poor? Did you applaud the laws that banned drag shows and medical care for trans people? Did you avenge yourself against those who wronged you? That’s going to weigh in entirely when you seek entry into the Kingdom of God. Think about it.
Now you old-school folks, so in love with the Old Testament, like to quote me with this. “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” Now you interpret this to mean that the laws of the Old Testament, the ones that justify your subjugation of non-whites, women and the LGBTQ, are still relevant. Well, if you want to go that route, then hold on to such wonders as slavery, genocide, polygamy, and incest. Well, maybe some of you pervs and bullies love that idea, but then also you’d better not, wear clothes of different cloth, plant different crops together, have tattoos, shave your beards and sideburns, work on Sunday, touch the dead, or eat shrimp or pork. And when it comes to pigs, if you even touch one, you’re toast. All of these would be punished by death, if you take the old books to heart. Do you really think these are laws you need to be following now? I came with one law, and that should suit you all just fine as the fulfillment of spiritual law. Love one another, as I have loved you. Now that’s not so hard, is it? Good. Go with it, and let the Old Testament gather overdue dust. It’s a museum relic.
Now, going back to the Old Testament, it was said long ago, you shall not murder and that anyone who murders will be subject to God’s judgment. Here’s my add-on to the law. Anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Anger, even if it doesn’t result in physical violence, is still a sin, and when I say “brother” and “sister”, I mean everyone, not just family members, not just your pals, the people from your political party, or the folks in your congregation. I mean everybody, including the people who are different than you. Racists, bigots, homophobes, and misogynists, I’m looking at you when I say this.
I said. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Basically, make peace with your fellow humans, or the love you talk about bringing into the house of my Father is poisoned. Make things right while you still have time, both with people and with God. Don’t let bitterness or conflict linger. It can lead to worse consequences. Seek forgiveness, just as you’d reconcile with others before facing legal judgment, haters of this world need God’s grace before facing ultimate judgment, and this is a big way to earn it.
Way back, I told you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I said if your right eye causes you to be tempted, gouge it out and throw it away and that it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. I said the same about your right hand too. It was a brutal metaphor, for sure. So here’s what you should think of what I said here and now. You've heard it said that cheating in a relationship is wrong, but I tell you that even treating someone as a mere object of desire, rather than as a person, is already a betrayal of respect and integrity. If something in your life, whether it’s the way you think, the media you consume, or your habits, leads you to dehumanize or harm others, then it's better to remove that influence than to let it corrupt your character and your relationships. If a man tells you he likes grabbing women by their pussies, don’t vote for him. Oh, you don’t like that word? I shouldn’t have said that? Then think twice about throwing your adulation in the direction of the man who means it.
Last time I was here, said, “Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce, but I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” It seems you completely didn’t get me on this one. Between 40% to 50% of your marriages end in divorce. 20% to 30% of you admit to cheating on your spouses. There is a false messiah who is the object of misguided worship these days, and he has been married three times, cheating on all of his wives, so … not the man of God you all like to brag he is. Sorry. And as for the rest of you, really … learn what commitment is. 40% to 50% of you are pointing your fingers at others and calling them sinners while your sin is like the filth a pig rolls in.
You've heard it said that you should keep your promises and follow through on your vows to God. But I’m telling you, don’t swear oaths at all. Don’t swear by heaven, because it belongs to God. Don’t swear by the earth, because it’s His creation. Don’t swear oaths. Instead, just be honest. Anything more than that leads to trouble. How do I know that the worst liars can swear oaths? Well, there’s every witness who ever committed perjury after swearing, on a Bible, to tell the truth, and then there’s Trump, swearing to uphold the Constitution … on a Bible. Honestly, the best way to lie is with an oath, and in my Father’s kingdom, liars are not welcome.
You’ve heard the old saying: ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.’ But I’m telling you, don’t sink to the level of the cruel and vengeful. If someone strikes you out of spite, don’t give them the reaction they crave. Show them you won’t be ruled by their hatred. If they try to strip you of what little you have, don’t just cling to what’s yours. Show them you aren’t enslaved by greed like they are. If they demand more from you than is fair, go beyond their demands, but not out of fear. Do it to prove that generosity and decency will always be stronger than their selfishness.
Give to those in need, no matter how much the powerful try to harden your heart. Refuse to become like them. Who didn’t hear me when I said all this last time? Politicians and media figures pushing for harsh punishments, not for justice, but to "own" or humiliate their opponents, online mobs harassing and doxxing people for minor mistakes or unpopular opinions, those who cut social safety nets while blaming the poor for their struggles, mocking or criminalizing homelessness instead of offering solutions, corporations and landlords exploiting the working class through predatory pricing and wage theft, those who push for laws designed to punish specific groups (LGBTQ+ individuals, immigrants, and the poor, for example), those who support people and policies out of spite rather than for the common good, those who hoard wealth while demonizing those who ask for help, denying basic needs (healthcare, education, housing) under the guise of "personal responsibility” and “limited government”, those who prioritize tax cuts for the rich over programs that benefit the public, those who refuse to help refugees and asylum seekers, treating them as invaders instead of fellow humans, those who disregard the suffering of others because “it’s not my problem”, those who shame people for needing help instead of offering kindness. Sadly, it’s a lot of you who don’t seem to be hearing me, and you’d better.
You've been taught to love those who are good to you and to despise those who are against you, but I’m telling you, love even those who treat you badly. Pray for the people who hurt you. If you only show kindness to people who already agree with you, how does that make you any better than anyone else? If you only engage with people from your own social circle, culture, or ideology, how are you any different from the most close-minded and tribalistic people in the world?
Look around you. Your society is more divided than ever. People cancel each other over differences instead of seeking understanding. Political parties treat opponents like enemies to be destroyed rather than people with different perspectives. Online, you block, unfriend, and attack rather than engage in real conversation. But true goodness isn’t about loving those who already fit into your worldview; it’s about showing compassion even when it’s difficult. So strive for something greater. Aim for a love that isn't conditional, one that reflects the kind of grace and patience the world desperately needs. Those of you who are proudly “un-woke” and completely not getting what I have been trying to tell you, my footprint will be on your butts when you are refused entry into Heaven.
Be careful not to show off how good or righteous you are just to impress people. If you're doing good deeds for attention, the only reward you may get is public praise. You won't receive any spiritual reward from my Father.
When you help those in need, don’t make a big deal out of it or seek recognition, like those who put on a show to boost their reputation. They’ve already gotten what they wanted, applause from others. Instead, be discreet when you give. Don’t even dwell on your own generosity. Give humbly and privately, because God sees what’s in your heart and will reward you in a deeper way. Your worship doesn’t get you into Heaven, neither do your words, and neither does your proselytization of faith. The loudest among you is the most unbelieving, and the most seemingly and publicly upright is the most hypocritical. Goodness is its own reward. If you want praise, or you want to manipulate people through charitable efforts covering selfish motivations, there is no place for you with me.
When you pray or fast, don’t be like hypocrites who make a show of it in public places just to get attention. Instead, when you pray, find a quiet place, shut the door, and pray privately to God, who sees what you do in secret. He will be the one to reward you. And when you pray, don’t ramble on endlessly like those who think that using more words makes their prayers more powerful. God already knows what you need before you even ask. You know what the best prayer is? It doesn’t even require speech. It’s simple gratitude, and my Father knows if you’re feeling it. You don’t need to post lengthy, dramatic prayers online, trying to appear more righteous or gain likes and comments. You don’t need to make loud, showy prayers in church or public gatherings to impress others rather than to actually connect with God. You don’t need to ask God for intervention when kids get shot in your classrooms, people struggle after a hurricane, the homeless suffer, or people are starving. Actions speak louder than words. Support initiatives and laws that help people, volunteer, donate money and goods. Do good deeds. Seriously, that’s what impresses me and my father.
So about being rich, let me restate what I said last time. Don’t hoard wealth for yourselves here on earth. Instead, invest in what truly lasts: justice, kindness, and the well-being of others. That’s the kind of wealth that no market crash, no greedy billionaire, and no corrupt politician can take from you. Because whatever you value most, that’s what will guide your heart.
Your perspective shapes your entire being. If you see the world with clarity, acknowledging suffering, injustice, and your role in making things better, then your life will be filled with meaning and purpose. But if you choose to ignore the truth, chasing wealth while turning a blind eye to those in need, then you’re stumbling in deep darkness. If you convince yourself that greed and selfishness are ‘light,’ then that’s the darkest path of all. No one is saying you can’t make good money, but if you have more than you need, share. Do something good with your good fortune.
You can’t serve two masters. You can’t claim to care about justice while hoarding wealth at the expense of others. You’ll end up truly loyal to one and despising the other. You can’t worship both compassion and capitalism. You have to choose. No one is saying you can’t make good money, but if you have more than you need, share. Do something good with your good fortune
Stop stressing about your life; the TV news, money, what you'll eat, drink, or wear. Isn't life about more than just food and clothes? Look at the birds; they don’t plant crops, store food, or worry about the future, yet they always find what they need. Aren’t you worth more than them? Does worrying even add a single hour to your life?
Why stress over fashion? Look at the wildflowers. They don’t work or make their own clothes, yet they’re more beautiful than the most expensive designer outfits. If God takes care of something as temporary as grass, don’t you think He’ll take care of you too?
So don’t get caught up in chasing after wealth, in the lauded lifestyles of the rich and famous, in the fears the media instills in you to sell ads to corporate backers, or in any of the multitudinous distractions life throws at you to fray your nerves. Your Creator knows what you need. Instead, focus on what really matters; living with purpose, kindness, and faith. Everything else will fall into place. Don’t waste today worrying about tomorrow. Tomorrow has its own challenges. Just take it one day at a time.
Here’s one you all pretend I never said, so I really must say it again. Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge LGBTQ+ people, feminists, immigrants, people of other faiths, the poor, the unhoused, single parents, the disabled, the neurodivergent, those who seek reproductive healthcare, those who deconstruct religious faith, and anyone who does not conform to your idea of righteousness … you will be judged. And with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Why do you fixate on the supposed sins of others while ignoring your own greed, cruelty, corruption, and hypocrisy? How can you call out the supposed moral failings of your neighbors while turning a blind eye to the harm done by those in power who share your beliefs? First, confront your own faults, acknowledge your complicity in injustice, and only then will you be able to see clearly enough to offer guidance with humility and compassion.
Do not waste wisdom on those who refuse to listen, nor offer kindness to those who will twist it against you. Some people do not seek truth but only power, and if you entrust them with what is sacred, they may trample it underfoot and then attack you in return. Why has all of this proven so difficult for you people to understand?
Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, those who seek find, and to those who knock, the door will be opened.
Who among you, if your child asks for bread, would give them a stone? Or if they ask for a fish, would hand them a snake? If you, despite your flaws, know how to give good things to your children, how much more will your Creator provide good things to those who ask? And yet, in a world of abundance, how often do we offer stones instead of bread? How often do we hand out serpents when nourishment is needed?
Millions cry out for food, yet vast amounts of it are wasted or left to rot while others go hungry. The earth provides clean water in abundance, yet polluted rivers and corporate greed deny it to those in need. Workers toil endlessly, creating wealth they will never share in, while their wages keep them in poverty. Forests are cut down, oceans choked with plastic, and the air poisoned, all in the name of profit rather than care.
How is it that you allow your neighbors and your planet to suffer? If you can recognize the difference between bread and a stone, between a fish and a snake, how can you continue to turn a blind eye to those who ask for what is just and right? This planet, and all the life upon it, is my father’s gift to you, do not continue to treat this gift shabbily, or you’ll deal with Him when the time comes.
So in all things, treat others as you would like to be treated. This is the essence of justice and wisdom. And remember, no human being should attempt to do God's work in His place, for only He sees the full picture and judges with perfect wisdom. It is not your duty to render punishment, it is my Father’s. Your job is to love one another as I have loved you.
Enter Heaven through a modest, solitary doorway, where true growth begins. Today, you see massive congregations and flashy, charismatic leaders drawing crowds with ease. Their popularity can create an illusion of salvation, yet this grand spectacle may mask a shallow path that leads to spiritual emptiness. In contrast, no building or community is needed for you to have a relationship with me and with my Father. Though less visible and less celebrated, it is this intimate connection that challenges you to engage deeply, think critically, and commit authentically to your journey. It is on this less-traveled path, away from the dazzling allure of oversized churches and charismatic personalities, that genuine transformation and lasting life are found.
My children, do not be deceived by those who claim to follow me but do not walk in my ways. Many will speak my name (MAGA, Christian Nationalists) but their hearts are far from me. They will clothe themselves in righteousness while they oppress the poor, exploit the weak, and turn away the stranger in need. I tell you the truth: you will know them by their deeds, not their words.
I came to bring good news to the poor and freedom to the oppressed, but there are those who build their wealth by taking from the vulnerable, who sow fear and hatred instead of love. They harden their hearts to the stranger. They seek power for themselves and mock those who serve others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward in full. The icon among the false prophets of your world is none other than Donald Trump. Worship him, and you deny me. You deny my Father.
A true follower of mine feeds the hungry, cares for the sick, gives shelter to the homeless, and refuge to the asylum seeker. Many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not worship in your name?’ But I will tell you straight up: I want nothing to do with you. For whatever you do to the least of my Father’s children; the non-white, the LGBTQ+, the immigrant, the disabled, the poor, the women, and the non-Christian, you do also to me.
Beware of those who claim to be of my flock but devour the weak. A good tree bears good fruit, and a bad tree bears bad fruit. By their fruit, you will know them.
Therefore, anyone who truly listens to my words and lives by them builds their life on a solid foundation. The storms of life may come, challenges, injustices, and hardships, but the good among you will endure because you stand on truth, compassion, and justice.
But those who hear my words and refuse to live them out, who claim my name yet reject the call to love their neighbor, care for the poor, and welcome the stranger, build their foundations on shifting sand. When the storm comes, when their hypocrisy is exposed, when their cruelty collapses under the weight of its own emptiness, what they have built will crumble, and their fall will be great.
So here I am again, repeating myself, speaking with true authority. I think your failure to receive my message from before is because, as simple as it may be to understand, the practice of it is hard. It takes sacrifice and effort to live in my teachings moment by moment, day by day, and year by year. Praying is easy. Going to church is easy. Having a congregation of fellowship, full of people just like you, is easy. Having a preacher or a politician tell you how to live is easy. Avoiding learning and having other people do you thinking for you is easy. Doing what is easy doesn’t impress my Father.
Do not let the strict confines of human tradition and rigid Biblical interpretation cloud the true spirit of love and compassion I have bestowed upon you. Remember that I came not to bind you with laws of exclusion and judgment, but to open your hearts to the boundless mercy, forgiveness, and unity that heal all wounds. Turn away from teachings that sever your ties to your fellow human beings the world over and instead embrace the transformative power of love, which unites you as one family under Heaven. Seek always the truth that is born of grace and humility, and let your actions mirror the compassion and inclusion I have shown to all.
Go now, and really, seriously, live what I have taught you. You’ve been warned.
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