I may not look like much to you,
But I’ll tell you somethin’, goddamn, it’s true.
You call me low, say I ain’t got class,
But I ate Winona Horowitz’s ass.
I grew up in Minnesota,
And during high school, in my Toyota,
Parked at night, near an underpass,
There, I ate Winona Horowitz’s ass.
That girl, just like all good whores,
Took her position down on all fours,
And like a cow, chompin’ down on grass,
Then I ate Winona Horowitz’s ass.
I’m 44 now, some say fat,
But in the day, I was quite the cat.
You can mock me, sure, and be quite crass,
But I ate Winona Horowitz’s ass.
Go ahead and make insulting jabs
‘Bout the time I spent in drug rehab,
But I once had the hottest lass
When I ate Winona Horowitz’s ass.
Laugh at me at my third divorce,
And ridicule my lifetime’s course,
But I don’t break like I’m made o’ glass,
‘Cuz I ate Winona Horowitz’s ass.
Mock, if you will, each foul report
Of charges filed on me in court.
Mock me like you’ve got balls o’ brass,
But I ate Winona Horowitz’s ass.
Giggle and snort at my expense,
But I got somthin’ in recompense,
Enabling me to take your sass.
I once ate Winona Horowitz’s ass.